Things that are going on in my life right now (because lists are calming):

- Got my passport: it's beautiful and earthly and makes me feel as though I'm falling from a glistening web of longitude and latitude lines in the sky, a la The Adventures of Baron Munchausen. Having never had a passport, I've been looking upon it half pragmatically, as a quiet success, and half moored by its jewel-like status. It was designed to remind the traveller of America back home, which makes me a little misty. I still have half an interest to look into getting a European passport, though. I mean, why not? It may be difficult, but it's theoretically possible. And if I could ever obtain one I could, also theoretically, be granted a work Visa for the countries of the E.U. I have to say that would be a pretty great deal. I mean, no matter how scraggly the job I'd still be aglow, half alive, on the romantic Parisian roads. Right?

- Intense desire. Desire, however, does fade one day. And the more mature and compassionate one is, the more he or she will be able to get through those selfish bouts of desire. Or at least be able to transfer those feelings into something more obtainable (and perhaps more satisfying). I realize I am speaking quite in the abstract, however desire is nothing without its self-serving obscurity. I am also reminded of the concept of joissance, which makes me blush.

- Reading a surreal and imaginative book. Everyone please sit down sometime and pick up a book by Haruki Murakami. I'm on my second one, The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle. What is it about, really? It's difficult to say, for it's about many, many things, almost too many to bear. What I love about his work, though, besides categorizing the mindset of modern life brilliantly (and more specifically, the mindset of the modern Japanese citizen, which relates to and griddles my brain to a point of fascination), is that he pulls at the elements around the individual; the surreal ties that bind one person to another person or thing or idea or history. I am rarely so thoughtful as reading one his books, I'd venture to say. My recommendation for first-time readers is Norwegian Wood, naturally taking place in the 60's, about young 20-somethings and their real yet indescribable love and hatred for themselves and each other. That sounds terribly corny. It's not, though, it's very real, and it really helped me get through a small, confusing point in my life. Cognitive therapy!! I would like to read everything he's written.

- Forcing myself to get up and write in the mornings, results varying. Sometimes I have nothing to say, and my writing widdles out like a slag teenager on a bent wheel. However I did manage to scum up some story about an orphan brought into a wealthy, attractive family. I like these guys, and they are the first things I think of! Bottom line, though, is that this half-asleep engagement is really more of a lesson in discipline for me, and I bet I will find gold in it soon if I make half a case.

- Listening to way too much music. So what else is new? My favorite thing so far: TV on the Radio - Return to Cookie Mountain. Makes me want to rip my clothes off and purr all at the same time. It's like David Bowie being dragged through the mud. Yes, I realize it's a couple of years old, but put it on your headphones and let it take.

- Meeting and making new friends. This one is easy and is always a good thing.

Becoming increasingly resentful of the people in McKinney, TX; starting to become funnier and meaner when referring to them. Sorry, I had a conversation recently belying the physical attributes of the people I see daily, most of whom are nice, some of whom are cool and/or "pretty," like that matters at all, but nearly all of whom put me in the mindset of a Sherwood Anderson story. I'm sure it's the same for most "small towns." Really it's just me being snobbish and immature, which it is my constant task to grow against, but sometimes it's enjoyable to revel in.

- Choosing between two schools in Prague to apply to and getting ready to apply. Seriously, the advent of my passport reconfirmed my big, important plans, which I was banking on. Thank God for Stephen who has done this before me in the same city. But I had a thought the other day, clear and real, that I would actually, truthfully, undyingly go through with this! It makes me happy just thinking about it.

- Going on half-hearted job interviews, with so-far unsuccessful results. Two jobs I wanted, one of which I really, really wanted, I apparently came close, but alas, someone else was more qualified. Yes, I'm feeling a little rejected. But that's knocks. I know there will be others. It's harder telling my friends I didn't get it than facing that rejection. Could it be the same in any other aspects of my life? And if so, what is my overall motivation?

- Missing my dear Jasmine, who came for but a brief weekend: All I need to say I've said. I love her very much.

That's it for now. I guess life is good. Life is always good for an American girl who is loved by her family. Still, I have that French sense of ennui; I want things to be more dynamic; I know they will, but I am waiting, either for outside circumstances or for myself or both. We'll see who wins out soon ;)

One more thing: my sister and I recently did a photoshoot with our lovely photographer friend Brooke. Pictures will come, but in the mean time, here's my favorite live video of the two infamous sisters. You guys remember that summery, catchy, yet rather forgettable song "Turn Me On" by Kevin Little? Yeah, here's a a cover. Yes, they frequently wear mustaches and crossdress. Yes, they may or may not be "incestuous" even though that's rather gimmicky of them. Just roll with it; it's lovely: